Where I've been...and where I'm headed...

We all know the saying, "Time flies when you're having fun!"  We use that phrase all too often in our daily conversations with family, friends, co-workers, children, students etc...but are we really being honest when we throw out these sayings?  I mean...I'm not always having fun  Are you?  Quite frankly, I probably use this phrase 100% OF THE TIME just to be sarcastic in a "socially acceptable" manner.  Not that I am at all sarcastic, but sometimes I fall into that trap!  So, with that being said...I have NOT been having fun!  At least, not in the physical sense!

I am a lover of many things...big, small, yada, yada...you know the rest...

I come from a place where small things mattered and time was always available...for everyone.  At least that is how it seemed to me as a simple small child growing up in a land of "beautiful horses and fast women," as my daddy would put it!  There was always time for talk, time for good food, time for family, time for friends and play, time for cards, time to reflect, time for god...but most importantly...there was always time for me.  Well, not that I am most important on my list of priorities at the moment, but I think you get the gist of it!

Now, 44 years later...well almost 44 years later in about 2 months, I cannot find the time to even go to the bathroom in peace.  that's right!  What a pity to be my age and have to have conversations while trying to rid myself of deadly toxins from the bottle, or better yet magnum, of wine I chugged from the night before.  Or, my one hot shower of the night, when all I want to do is just stand there and soak in  hot water after a long day... just to have 3 boys fly through the bathroom door to pee, because, hell... they just can't hold it...or hit it btw!  Then of course, they run out of the bathroom leaving the door WIDE open before I can even hollar at them to put the toilet seat down.  and the toilet seat...well that's another whole  post!!!

don't get me wrong...i LOVE my family very much!  i would be lost without them and they are my strength and my purpose.  My husband is the most patient man in the world...and he is one of the funniest people I have ever met!  The most disorganized...but oh so funny! However, I do cherish, desire, and need the time for me...my time...and that time is running and yoga.  All of which hasn't been happening for quite a while now.  And boy, when I fell off that wagon, I had NO IDEA how hard it would be to catch back up to it...And i fell hard!

I have a hard time sitting...a hard time not being active...and an even harder time watching other people enjoy it when I can't!  It kinda ticks me off...It all started about 16 months ago...when I injured myself dancing like a teenager at a BBQ...that's right, a teenager!  Us old folks were trying to show the young ones how it's done, you know dancing to Usher, Rhianna and Katy Perry...(the kids were jamming out to them...not us of course!) when all of the sudden...POP!  I thought I was going to immediately vomit all over myself, and spill my drink, but that would have been too embarrassing...so I did what any other really cool dancing 42 year old did...  Took another swallow and just pretended that popping my entire hip out of socket was"a really cool move!"  Then i cautiously walked over to Dave, my funny husband, and probably cursed.  I really don't remember because i could not take the pain.  it was the most intense pain I had ever felt! 

The entire weekend was spent icing, lying down and moping! yeah, moping...that's what I do when I'm down  but hey...the body always heals itself right?  And I am a HUGE practitioner of Bikram yoga...the only "REAL" hot yoga out there folks btw...and this was not gonna keep me down!  After all...Cow Harbor was only about 3 weeks away...and I wasn't gonna let all my running and  teacher friends witness me bail!   so, I ran...along with a couple of other races...coupled in with a yoga class here and there, but 2 months later...I just couldn't shake the pain.  What the hell did I do?  It just wouldn't go away!  So, with the holidays approaching and wrestling season starting...I am an official "Wrestling Widow" from Thanksgiving to February...and for those of you that understand...wrestling really NEVER ends!...NEVER!!!  Any who... I decided to give my body a break, and let it heal itself!  I just needed to give myself some time...

I had been an athlete all of my life.  running was my first love...probably because I was good at it!  Track, more than distance...and I was fast!  "The Great White Hope" my dad would call me...(in Ky us small white chicks didn't win many sprints...so I was really a rarity.)  Arco Jesse Owens games in CA, Junior Olympics, regionals, states...never an injury kept me away.    My second love was competitive cheerleading...I also cheered in Kentucky, which is somewhat like a small dynasty in the south...even back then.  I started at the age of 6.  So, as HS was ending, I had to make a choice and decide either to run...or cheer!  Well...the scholarship decided for me...and a University of Louisville cheerleader I became...and running took a back seat!  Now, for those of you out there who mock people who cheer...I had never been involved with a more rewarding...extreme, fun, year long  difficult sport!   Jumping, gymnastics, stunting, 3.5 high pyramids...which were allowed back then.  I know, I am aging myself...but that is really high!!!...this all takes a huge toll on a body, and many injuries occurred.  But, again, nothing our trainers couldn't fix, tape wouldn't help... and my body couldn't handle...except for being dropped about twelve feet to the ground in "Freedom hall" in front of about 20,000 spectators right on my left hip...but again...another post!  So, long story short...  collegiate national champions we were...and still are today!   I was also a 2 time collegiate all american and had been working for NCA for quite awhile teaching camps all over the states...However, upon graduation...my "cheerleading career"...ended!  just like that, except for NCA camps in the summer for awhile until i figured out my life.   so, back to running I went!   Along the way, bikram yoga came into play...and these  have been my passion for quite some time now.  Running...coupled with balance and strength...nothing seemed better!

I finally broke down and went to an orthopedist to have my right hip checked out..."Tendinitis," he said..."go to PT for about 6 weeks and that should help...then come back to see us and we will re-evaluate!"  Now here is when my story gets really good!  Who would ever have thought that PT could be so so much fun?????????  Well...when he is HOT!  That's right...really good looking HOT!!!  Now, I do have to say again...I really, really love my husband...and he is hot too...but hey, this was fun!  Can you blame me?  However...something still wasn't right...and I have to give credit where credit is due.  It was him who figured out the problem...yeah, the small guy!  Not the hot shot obnoxious doctor that didn't really give me the time of day and rushed me out of his office...apparently there was no bone sticking out of my body or anything...it was just pain...pain that was hard to find the source of,and was referring to many different places!   a few tests later, and MRI with dye injection, (another post yet again cause that was not fun)...and finally a diagnosis..I had a right acetabular laberal tear with cam impingement!  Ok...now I needed someone to tell me exactly what that was.  I didn't even know those terms were a part of the English language...so, my good lookin PT...and yes i call him mine...sent me in to see Dr. Bryan Kelly in the city at HSS.  That was in May...and 4 months later I underwent my first surgery EVER!!! 

4 months later...here I sit...still not running, jumping, hopping and hardly walking right...much less even breaking a sweat...although I have recently returned to yoga to just stretch and sweat...and I am amazed at how long it takes to recover from a hip surgery! So, this blog has become MY TIME for now...( with the help of a dear friend who set it up for me because i am a bit special ed in this area...but it's ok...I actually teach special ed!)  Thanks, Annette!!!  My time to write, to vent, to express and to reflect upon all that has happened...and to pull insight from others to help myself realize that this is all just time...passing by slowly so that I might again realize how precious it is to sit and read...sit to play...sit to think...sit to listen...sit to cuddle...or just plain sit to eat, (actually I really need to stop doing that right now...should i be worried if my PT keeps asking me if I am doing my side planks and pelvic tilts??) 

 I'll leave it at that...for now, while I wait...patiently wait for my wagon to reappear so I might just take a ride...heck, I"ll even just sit on it for a while...

Namaste~